Tales of a Tech-Priest
by Brother-Dreadnought Titus
Summary: The comical misadventures of a Tech-Priest turned Sacristan (Imperial Knight Suit Mechanic) and his pet psyker, David. Rated T for language and possible later content. All characters are, to my knowledge, original/OC. I do not own anything to do with Games Workshop's Warhammer 40k.
1. Chapter 1: The Magos Calls

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 1: The Magos calls

Tech-Priest Sevonyx Kirill, augmented with a corpus gloriosa, headed down the familiar halls of the Mechanicus space station 'cohort' in the Aeon system, Ultima Segmantum, towards Magos Akai's laboratory. Magos Akai was the system's most prominent Magos Xenobiologis and one of the few Magi Psykana in the system.

As he approached Akai's laboratory, the 5 metre high wrought adamantine doors, the doors slowly creaked open, slow enough to make Sevonyx believe that the Magos was doing it on purpose for what those outside the Mechanicus might refer to as "dramatic effect".

"Tech Priest Sevonyx, my pets told me of your approach."

"I am answering your summons, Magos"

"I know, I was the one who sent the message. You are aware of the Ice world, Millenium?"

"Don't you mean Millenia, Magos?"

The Magos leaned down towards one of his pet psykers and whispered "Verify, human catalogue 58." "Yes, Magos, it's called Millenia." Akai again faced Sevonyx, "Excellent, I knew you'd pass the test. Now, you are to be sent there, to my laboratory"...

"Magos..." Sevonyx interupted "I study biology and Material Sciences, not Xenobiology!"

"Let me finish, Sevonyx. You along with other Metallurgicus and Investigatus specialists are being sent to my laboratory on Millenia, where you shall be met by a representative of the Mechanicus aligned knight house Azkir to become a sacristan, as they lost a few, several months back, they were tinkering with a knight errant's thermal cannon when, and I quote " there was a large boom" and half the knight and all 13 sacristans in the blast radius were no longer there, but that's what you get when you let a heretek tinker on a big ass melta gun."

"Magos, remeber the meme you sent a while back, to warn you when you start using fleshbag mannerisms?"

"Omnissiah! Thank you Sevonyx!"

"Back to the previous point, I'm to become a sacristan on an Ice rock!?"

"This is correct, only for a relatively short tour, about a hundred years or so, along with a dozen other Tech-Priests."

"But Mago"...

"I know it's dangerous and often boring down their so take this." the magos said as his pet psykers pushed a 1.5-1.5 metre crate up to Sevonyx. "Go ahead open it."

Sevonyx pressed the button to open the crate. The crate opened. Sevoyx spoke. " Magos?"

"Yes? What do you think?"

" This is a child."

"Yes, a psyker, I belive the Scholastica Psykana would peg him under divination."

"It clearly hasn't even hit puberty yet!"

"Very astute, Sevonyx, and his name is david."

"But"...

"There there, Sevonyx, I gave the other twelve new sacristans one each, so you won't stick out."

"But"...

"The shuttle leaves in 5 hours. Don't miss it." Akai said as he turned back to his laboratory, doors closing behind him."

After a minute of staring at the adamantine doors, Sevonyx realised that the Davis thing was staring at him.

"Why do you look like a normal human?"

Shit, it was inquisitive. "It is a corpus gloriosa, it allows me to appear and function human externally identical to humans. I'm assuming you still have your human digestive tract and require sustenance."

"Sustenance?"

"Food!"

"Yes"

"Faecal matter!" Literally, from david and metaphorically, the situation.

"What?"

Were all small humans this moronic he wondered "Your too young for the alternative word."

"What does alternative mean?"

"Omnisiah preserve me."


	2. Chapter 2: Landfall

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 2

Landfall

It was a 10 minute shuttle run. The kind that would normally go precisely as expected. The shuttle leaves the hanger, enters the atmosphere 1-2 minutes in, no more than 8 minutes later, you should have been on the ground, unloading the luggage. This flight went pretty much like that, except for a few minor details.

First, the shuttle was designed to transport roughly a dozen people, there were 26 passengers.

Second, 13 of those passengers were 10 years old, psykers and had never been on a shuttle before, being vat grown in Akai's laboratory. Essentailly, 13 10-year olds making orbital re-entry for the first time.

This was perhaps the closest Sevonyx had come to true despair.

Both of the problems on their own could be worked around, especially with the Mechanicus' resources. Together?

The odds of such a situation was astronomical and, therefore, unaccounted for. All of the children, bar none, were, wall-to-wall, projectile vomiting.

So, no shit, there he was, breaking orbit 2 minutes into the flight, when one by one, like a chain reaction, going from wall to wall, and where there was no wall, a tech-priest. So for 8 minutes, he sat there, vomit slowly rising to ankle deep levels, nary a wall or tech-priest unscathed by the ballistic vomit, the shuttle taking 1 point of hull point damage.

By the time they touched down, most of the other tech-priests were banging on the door, crying to the omnissiah for mercy, but several, including Sevonyx, merely sat there, they knew how Akai's operations worked, this was probably only the beginning, they were made of sterner, Ancient Terran Nokia 3310s to their fine-tuned auspex scanners.

No. The omnissiah did not answer their prayers, but rather the Forge Master of House Azkir, Sokolov Azkir, nephew of the current house ruler, according to Mechanicus records.

Sokolov sighed a sigh of anguish and despair, for he knew that these were another group sent by Magos Akai. "It was Magos Akai that sent you, wasn't it." A statement rather than a question as the vomit began to slowly flow out of the shuttle air-lock and down the ramp towards Sokolov.

Answered by a collective groan of metallic and childish groans.

"Why don't I give you an hour..." the Forge Master wretched "...several hours to clean up and gather your belongings..." another wretch, the vomit a metre away from his feet "...and I'll meet you back here at 19:00." half walking, half running off to the docks administration desk to arrange for their use of empty apartments for a few hours.

All tech-priests which still had their natural tear ducts, all 2 of them, were at this point, crying.


	3. Chapter 3: Dom

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 3

Dom

After each of the tech-priests turned on the showers, threw their young charges into the refresher rooms and locked them in to prevent loss or escape, they shuuffled their way down to the docks' nearest laundrette, putting their vomit saturated robes through as many spin cycles as they could in the few hours that they had.

The sight of 13 tech-priests huddled around the apparel cleansers, several of them chanting litanies to the machine spirits, coupled with the smell, drew many curious stares from the locals. Omniceptic scans showing heat build up in a few of them, when another of the older, more Akai familiar tech-priests, spoke up "How long have we left the psyker locked in the showers?"

*panicked binary screeching*

Sevonyx, ran back into the apartment and disengaged the refresher room lock. As the door opened, a very scared David crawled his way through the now open door way.

"Oh...oh no...what happened." Sevoyx said, trying his best to feign ignorance.

"Steam...no windows...off button...too high..." Came David's replies between gasps.

"So I'm assuming you didn't let Dom out?"

"...no..."

Sevonyx strode over to the pet carrier on the apartment bed and flipped the latch with one of his mechadendrites. Out slinked an ash grey gyrinx, assuming position in the wake of his shadow.

"Come along David, we are to be assigned to knights in the morning and we have to get to the House Azkir citadel in the capital, you can sleep when your mortal body dies."

"Why is he called Dom?"

Why did it have to be inquisitive "He's named after a breed of Ancient Terran animal which the gyrinx resembles."

"Which animal?"

"Domestic House Cat. Now cease your inane questions."

"What does inane mean?"

"Shut up and pick up your bag."

As the shuttle began to make it's journey to the citadel, pulling away from the docks, "Is this everyone?" Sokolov asked.

"YES!" replied one of the female (?) tech-priests alittle too loudly and quickly.

The Forge Master decided to make nothing of it and re-entered the cockpit, "Foot down captain, we're on a schedule"

Sevonyx leaned towards the generic tech-priest and whispered "What happened?"

"Dead"

"How?"

"Drowned, she inhaled too much concentrated water vapour."

"What did you do with the bod..." *Explosion in the distance*

"That'll be cremation, then."


	4. Chapter 4: Splat

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 4

Splat

David screamed

The clock on Sevonyx HUD beeped 01:00 just as the vehicle made a sharp deacceleration at a blinding speed, for a shuttle and a group of 10 year olds at least.

2 of the children were at this point, however, fucking around with their seatbelts.

So, no shit, there he was, watching children dick around with seatbelts in a shuttle going in the high hundreds-low twohundreds mph. As his HUD beeped 01:00, 1 of the seatbelts clicked into place, the other didn't. There was an almighty crack mixed with the sound of a squelch like a boot in slush and the bulkhead to the pilot's cabin was covered in bloody pulp, all of the children except david screamed as tech-priest Elactrus cried "Freedom, praise the omnissiah, it's gone!"

"This, Captain," Sokolov began with a sigh "is how i know Magos Akai sent them."

All sevonyx new was that he was still stuck with david, people are getting stupider by the millenium and it was going to be a long ass, omnissiah cursed day.

The gaggle of tech-priests shuffled down the citadel galleries towards their designated rooms, those with psykers still left in their charge keeping one mechadendrite on them at all times, whilst the psykers themselves were eyes wide with shock and fear, rather than the splendour at magnificence of the citadel's architecture and las-batteries and gun emplacements. Only Electrus looked vaguely happy with the present situation given his "freedom".

"You know what," Electrus began "i'm actually surprised she lasted this long, considering she was a pyromancer who liked playing with the apartments gas appliances." He whispered in Sevonx's ear.

Suddenly, Sokolov spoke up " The ceremony where you are assigned to knights begins at 09:00, the Master of the Vox will be there to pick you up, walk you to the doors of the main hall where you will wait until he announces your arrival to the court." Having apparently shadowed them to prevent any of them falling behind. "Any questions?"

"Yes," Electrus said "two, in fact. First, you realise that tech-priests don't actually require sleep and, therefore, bedrooms and who was the tech-priest that prompted you to require replacements?"

"To answer the first, House Azkir feels that our sacristans deserve more than a dusty broom cupboard to power down and recharge in and you aren't the first group the good Magos has sent with children. To answer the second, I believe the specific sacristan was called Carl who tried to turn a Knight Errant suit's fusion cannon into a combi-plasma, resulting in the loss of the knight suit and a dozen other nearby sacristans." With that, he turned to leave.

Of course it was fucking Carl, only he would try to pull shit that retarded.

Sevonyx and David made their way into the room with all/mostly his worldly possessions: " spare sets of robes, Dom's bed, an arc maul which got him an a grade in his first material sciences class and, finally, David.


	5. Chapter 5: Shiny door

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 5

Shiny Door

It was 08:50 and David was pulling him down dusty corridors that he doubted most of the servitors even used, as he was pulled round the corner, there stood the 15 metre high walls of wrought adamantium, gilded with silver and depicting House Azkir's greatest victories, one of the most prominent was of a Cerastus Knight Castigator with an Eldar, Revenant he believed, Titan laid low before it's blade, the way the carved blade shimmered, it was a remarkable work of craftsmanship for such a utalitarian material, then again, this was the visitors' enterance, it was supposed to be shiny and fancy.

"That was a fluke, David, you'll never find another shortcut like that again."

"It wasn't a fluke, I saw it."

"David, please, enough of your flightless avian and Grox stories. Just because you're a psyker, doesn't mean every vision is a portent, equal odds are it was brought on by all the sugar and caffeine you insisted on ingesting. Now if you don't mind, I wish to examine this remarkably shiny and well made door."

At 08:55, on the dot, House Azkir's Master of the Vox, Richter Azkir, rounded the corner about 0.25 kilometres down the hall with the rest of the tech priests. As he reached the door "How did you get in front? You were at the back last time I checked."

"He dragged me down a side passage." Sevonyx said, pointing to David who was also manhandling the gate.

"You let a child drag you off down a side passage, that are armed and booby trapped against invaders, in a mostly unmapped 8 millenia old citadel?"

"You don't know what he's like."

"We've lost countless children and senile, elderly barons and knights down those halls, he may be the reason you went in their but he's probably the only reason you made it out alive." They both glanced at david who, at this point, was picking his nose."Now," the Master of the Vox began, "I have to announce your arrival to over a hundred knights and barons before the ceremony begins in about a minutes time, if you'll excuse me."

54 seconds later, the gates began to slowly, and with a slight creak, open. ""A minute", my metallic ass." Electrum muttered as he stood next to Sevoyx and David, who at this point had caused one nostril to begin bleeding, plugged the nostril and began work on the other one.


	6. Chapter 6: Ceremony and stuff

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 6

Ceremony and Stuff

The doors began to slowly open and the tech-priests stood there, waiting for some kind of signal for them to move forward, the air heavy with tension and an awkward silence. That is, until the Master of the Vox began calling "forth" the tech priests in twos and threes, child psykers not withstanding, and so it went until only Electrus and Sevonyx and co. remained.

Sacristans Electrus Asklepion and Sevonyx Asketill, step forth!" Richter bellowed down the great hall as he had for so many other generic tech-priests. The hall itself was only about 100 metres long and 20 metres high, but it wasn't the size of the great hall so magnificent, but the walls.

Resplendent carvings the likes of which he had never seen, the carvings' intricacies would likely have taken a master artisan a lifetime per square metre, roughly 4,000 masters of their craft, and the material, gold, platinum and titanium, all gilded with precious gems, ruby tipped bolt rounds and emerald tipped cannon shells all glinting as if they truly were piercing the air towards Eldar, Ork and Heretic alike, and the way the gold and platinum gleamed and glimmered made the knights apper as if in motion, diamond studded eyes filled with a fury and vengeance one would not expect to find outside the realm of the living.

"Why is it so sparkly in here?" David broke through his train of thought with a whisper.

"Not now, David!" he whispered back, his tone slightly sharp. At least neither of his nostrils were bleeding anymore,

They stopped a good metre before the bottom step to the princeps' throne.

Sacristan Electrus Asklepion, advanced military design specialist," Princeps Darius Azkir began "from this moment hence, I assign you to this house's rightous and just Master of Lore, Valkus Azkir, and his Knight Gallant, the only such Knight in our glorious house, Dominus Maximus. If you would follow him now to the sanctuary, to acquaint yourself with your new charge." Valkus took a step away from the crowd towards Electrus from the right and motioned for him to follow. He followed.

"Sacristan Sevonyx Asketill, material sciences and fabrication specialist, I assign you to this house's glorious and esteemed Master Tactician, Galya Azkir, and her Caestus Knight Castigator, Titan Lapidem," Sevonyx thought back to the carving on the door to the great hall, laying low an Eldar titan "If you would follow her now to the sanctuary, to acquaint yourself with your new charge." Galya Azkir stepped down from the throne's right hand side and motioned towards a side door to his right and began to leave. He assumed that was his and David's que to leave and followed her out.


	7. Chapter 7: To the Knight

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 7

To the Knight

They were several metres through the doors and down the hall as the doors began to shut behind them. "So," Galya began "what do you know of the house and its Knights?"

The question was not one he expected as he thought, and perhaps did, she would already know his answer. She was either as socially awkward as him, as naive and blunt as David or trying to make polite conversation. As he thought about it, it was probably the lattermost, given her background with a knight house that regarded chivalry highly, even amongst knight houses.

"Not much about any specific knight. Though I do know the house itself is sworn to defend this system from any xenos threat within it and those bordering it and generally volunteer to help fight chaos forces despite holding no obligations to do so. The house swore its oath to the Mechanicus, and by extension, the Imperium. It has a rigid, well ordered hierarchy, often showing through the houses ceremonies. Prefer the use of speed in martial engagements, minimise colateral, honourable to a fault. 74 of your 140 Knights are Knight Errants and 1, the Master of Lore's, Knight Gallant..."

"Okay, okay, I get the gist, you did your homework. What do you know of me and my knight?"

"Mechanicus files state you are, chronologically, 94 years and 361 days old, Terran standard." A frown made itself present for a split-second as he said her age. "You have through 2 sets of rejuvenant treatment, placing you, biologically, at 28 years old.I also believe that 'Titan Lapidem' is the knight on one of the doors to the great hall with the Eldar titan at its feet."

"Yes, that's her, I can still remember when I inverted one of its leg-joints with a dropkick."

*Internal binary screeching*

"Sacristan?"

*External binary screeching*

"Sevonyx?" concern begining to make itself known in her tone.

"WHAT!? Even Cerastus Knights aren't built for those manoeuvres!" His reaction akin to hearing Matt Ward and Cato Sicarius in the same sentence.

"She handled it fine."

"She? She! Why are you calling it she?"

"because she is a machine spirit."

"Machine spirits are genderless What is this one like, by the way?"

David was at this point, after walking several kilometres without rest since he woke up, dead on his feet.

"Sh...it is surprisingly calm for a war machine of its size, almost tranquil, like every fight...every battle is another elegant dance to the din of war."

His shoulders fell "You've pulled worse moves than the dropkick, haven't you?"

"Define worse."

"More extreme."

Then yes, many times. I suplexed a krall once."

"By the omnissiah, it must have the patience of a Magos Astrographicus."

"Riiiiight...why do you look human, the other sacristans are more machine than man?"

"Corpus Gloriosa."

David collapsed, they kept walking, oblivious to the man/boy down, or at least Galya was, Sevonyx just kept walking.

"I am augmented to physically appear human to aid in day to day interactions with any and all filthy fleshbags. Did I say filthy? I meant the unenlightened. Did I say unenlightened? I meant innocent."

They turned the final corner and their stood the giant doors to the sanctuary and the knights within.


	8. Chapter 8: The Chamber of Knights

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 8

The Chamber of Knights

They stood before the giant door when David came hurtling around the corner after them. "David! No running in the galleries, we established this yesterday."

"But I thought you left me and I remember seeing that you came here this morning." David replied, gasping for breath.

"You saw him? None of you left the guest wing since you arrived, how could you have possibly saw him here?" Galya almost demanded, David, however, did not flinch like one of the ancient Terran snowflakes of the 2nd millenium.

"He doesn't mean he saw it in that sense, he's a psyker known to suffer from portents." Sevony said, beating David to the ball.

"Is he sanctioned?"

"Do yo really want to know?"

"I...no" she said after a few seconds before stepping forward to place her hand on a scanner, disengaging the outer locks and activated a vox unit to some guards on the other side of the adamantium doors.

"Knight; Pilot?" came a voice over the vox.

"Titan Lapidem; XIV" Galya replied.

"Welcome knight."

He could hear the servos and cogs that operated the door churn as the doors began to lurch open.

There stood the sanctuary of Knights in all their glory. First were around a dozen Knight Wardens and their elderly, semi-senile pilots preparing for some sort of engagement, most likely the early-bird special. Next were the Knights of the Barons Prime, closely followed by 20, a nice round number if he ever saw one, Knight Crusaders. Finally, was around a hundred generic Knight Errants and a few dozen down the bottom that he couldn't quite make out. They had to walk around a hundred metres to get past the Knight Wardens for Galya to stop and hold her hand up towards Lapidem'.

It was beautiful to the point wgere, if he still had actual tear ducts, he would be crying. It reminded him of the one time he was allowed to clean the demolisher cannon of a baneblade.

"...Hello!...Sacristan...yes,you! What's wrong with him?!"

Electrus walked over to Galya and looked at sevonyx. "He gets bthat look on his face sometimes, hold on a moment."..."Sev! Carl's raiding your lab space!"

"Fucking Carl! I'll ram his mechadendrites up his rectal oriface!...oh, I zone out again?"

"See, Miss. Just tell him Carl's touching his stuff, he'll drop what he's doing." Electrus' face was rather smug for a face that was mostly mechanical, almost impressive.

"Who's Carl?" Galya asked

"How do I put this," Electrus began "the guy who's heretical tinkering caused us to be here." With that, he turned to walk back to Dominus Maximus.

"Is there anything specific the knight requires? Also, where do I put david?" Sevonyx enquired

"Standard maintenance and reloading, killed a couple krall on the way here. As for David, he should be able to help you if he can see problems before they occur."

"A final question, why are the Knight Wardens being armed, it seems a little overblown for bingo and the early-bird special." A snort of laughter came from Galya and, just on the edge of his hearing, Valkus, over by Dominus Maximus'.

After she had stifled her laughter, she replied "Most of them are preparing to take several groups of knight apparents on a krall hunt. They either kill several and become knights proper, die or, least probably, earn the title on the battlefield proper. Also, before I go, the repairs need to be done by tomorrow afternoon, we're going home."

"Home?" going through Sevoyx's head was 'What the fuck, this shit was not in the briefing', though he would never admit it.

"Tempest Mount , capital of my fife, every Baron and Baron Prime has one, you didn't think all these Barons lived here, did you?" Pivoting on her heel and leaving, a slight spring in her step.

If he wasn't forced into this by Akai, he'd be saying he didn't sign up for this shit. Then again...he was working with Knights and had a degree of freedom from Akai,even if he was only half a system away.


	9. Chapter 9: Tales of a Tactician 1

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 9

Tales of a Tactician 1

 _ **Experiment with an in story spin-off arc. Through Galya's eyes. Chapter suggestions are welcome; I'll see what I can do.**_

She was walking back along the halls from the sanctuary, back to the great hall and the court, musing to herself. Sevonyx was a little odd, but it wasn't like he was unlikable or even likely to rub anyone the wrong way, not nearly as boring as her last sacristan who gave people filthy looks when they spoke in any language other than binary. David was an unsanctioned psyker and, as such, was prone to daemonic possession at any second, but he was still just a boy, and she knew how to deal with that. Then there was the other sacristan, Electrus, was it? He was strange, but Sevonyx seeemed to trust him, he wasn't mentally unstable in the conventional sense and he was Valkus' problem. That put him 3 points in her favour straight off the bat.

She quietly made her way back into the great hall and, as luck would have it, she arrived as the last petitioner was making their way out. It was actually a quiet day considering the recent increase in krall attacks.

"Befor this court is adjourned, there are several noteworthy events due in the near future," Princeps Darius began,"in several months time, the Adeptus Mechanicus will demand a fresh tithe of knights to serve alongside their titan legions and I have yet to decide who shall recieve the honour of being sent. Secondly, due to an increase in krall activity, the Adeptus Ministorum is sending 2 Imperial Guard regiments to help cull the beasts. Their ETA is no later than months end, within the fortnight minimum. Finally... could whoever graffitied on 3 of the Knight Wardens please cease such activities, our veterans have more than earned the right to a relatively stressless retirement."

Their was muttering, and murmuring, coming from some knight apparents, over down the far end of the great hall. To the outsider, this would not seem too odd, but to those familiar with House Azkir's rigid court structure, this was equivelant to a bar brawl amongst the masses. Their probably would be a brawl over it at some point, Galya mused.

"The honourable court of House Azkir is adjourned!" Richter announced as the began to disperse, likely making their way towards the feast hall a kilometre down the Western corridor.

They were in the hallway when Galya finally caught the Princeps,"My lord, how are we to cull the krall with only two regiments?"

"You are the Master Tactician of this house, are you not? You tell me."

"They are quite a problem in every fief, especially mine, Master Tacticians being given the most Krall-infested fief since time immemorial."

"Common knowledge and basic deduction led to that, Galya, give the most battle hardened the most contested land. How do you plan to solve it?"

"Leave the PDF on rapid response to sudden Krall outbreaks whilst the guard regiments systematically clear each fief with support from the nearest militia."

"Then all you need are the troops but now, it is 2PM and the feast hall awaits...


	10. Chapter 10: Monday Mornings

Chapter of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 10

Monday Mornings

If he were paying attention, he would have realised that it was almosr dawn, working on 'Lapidem' for 18 hours straight. He was, however, disturbed from his trance when Electrus walked over, "Sev, guess what?"

"Another of the psyker's die, or something?"

Electrus cocked his only remaining eyebrow, "Yes, actually. Guess how it happened!"

"Reaper chainsword testing gone wrong." Sevonyx said, his tone so flat, the sarcasm was nigh undetectable.

"How did you know?" the surprise evident in his tone.

"I can see it being cleaned from here. How far the limbs were flung is quite remarkable, I'd say the chainsword works fine."

"Haven't you finished on your knight yet? You've worked through the night."

"Oh, yes, hours ago, I', just touching it right now, familiarising...yes, familiarising myself with the parts." Sevonyx said, eyes darting side to side as he spoke.

"I'm sure there's a human joke in there somewhere. Then again, when isn't there?"

"See you lat...DAVID, STOP! Move the arc-welder slowly away from the fuel line!" a twinge of fear running through his mind at the prospect of becoming the next 'Carl' incident.

"Hand over the chocolate first!" David demanded "This is a hostage situation!"

"Who the hell taught you what hostage meant?!"

"I can read!"

Shit, it knows how to read, "I refuse to negotiate."

David moved the welder a few centimetres closer to the fuel line. It was at this point Electrus decided additional input was needed. "I don't think he's bluffing."

"I know he isn't, but there'll be less damage from the explosion than from an unsanctioned, sugar-hyped, 10 year old psyker running amok in a Knight House's citadel."

"Do you want to be known as the next Carl by blowing up a Knight?"

Sevonyx breathed a sigh, "Fucking Carl. Move the welder, slowly, away first!"

David turned the welder off and Electrus turned to Sevonyx, "Can he just turn it off like that!? I'm sure he's breaking several hundred rules here!"

This is on your head Electrus. You're cleaning up the mess he makes." He threw David the chocolate and handed Electrus an ancient piece of archaeotech known only as a 'Dyson'. "Good luck."

"How bad can he be... and where did he go?"

Hell if I know, I'll see you on the other side. Come along Dom, we're going to the morning nutrition dispensary. I believe the fleshbags call it breakfast." With that, he left the sanctuary, making for the feast hall, the Gyrinx moving back beneath Sevonyx's billowing robes.

He arrived in the feast hall around half an hour after the crack of dawn, he hoped it would be too early for the morning rush.

As soon as he entered, he was met with the hustle, bustle and surprising lack of decorum of House Azkir's feast hall. By all accounts, it wasn't unlike a plebian bar brawl. On the 'Cohort', back in Chapter 1, fights of this magnitude were only caused when a tech-priest got caught giving another tech-priest's toaster some seriously filthy looks.

He dodged under flying tankards, stepped over unconscious bodies and dodged the occasional off-target rapier thrust until he finally reached a relatively safe place to sit and began eating his bland, tasteless mechanicus issue nutrient paste, due to some yet to be replaced organs that stll needed sustenance, and changed the D size, heavy duty batteries required for his optimal functioning. As the last battery was slotted into place, a body came sliding down the table, straight past him, with the Forge Master close in tow.

"No no no no, your not escaping that easy, get back here, you prick!" Grabbing the knight apparent in a headlock. After a few seconds, he noticed Sevoyx, "Oh, wait...Sacristan...Sevonyx, right? Galya said she was on her way to the 'Lapidem', you'd best hurry back, before she get's mad."

"I didn't see her on the way down here, sir..."

"That won't stop her getting mad, boy." Sokolov interupted. "She needs your help registering all the knights for transportation."

"Isn't that the Master of Lore's job?" Sevonyx inquired.

Sokolov released the knight apparent and walked across the table to the unconscious body next to Sevonyx. As he lifted the knight's head, he saw it was Valkus.

"I see, I'll go at once."

"Good man, now...where'd he get to?" As he noticed the Knight apparent again: "Get back here you wanker!..."

Sevonyx sighed a sigh that was becoming all too common. "I only hope the toaster they're fighting over is worth it."


	11. Chapter 11: Tetrarch Taxis

Input and chapter ideas accepted, in case you didn't already know.

The transport referred to in this chapter is a 'tetrarch heavy lander'.

Tales of a Tech-Priest

Chapter 11

Tetrarch taxis

Sevonyx was at the doors to the sanctuary, pondering. "How the hell am I supposed to get in there?"

Several seconds later, came round the corner, carrying in his mechadendrites both the 'Dyson' and david. "Never again!" he muttered, almost a whisper, yet still livid AF.

"I told you it was easier to die in a storm of burning promethium, but nooooooo... you insisted I give him the sugar..."

"Please... just... take him, and here's the 'Dyson'." he whimpered, handing both items to Sevonyx.

"Well... Valkus was in the feast hall. You'll catch him if you hurry." "So, David, any idea how we get in there without Galya?" Sevonyx asked.

David walked up to the vox unit on the wall, "Could you let us in please?"

A synthetic voice replied over the vox "No hand-print detected, identify knight and pilot name and number."

"Lapidem, Galya, XIV" David said into the vox unit.

"Full credentials not listed, repeat."

Sevonyx nudged david to one side, "Titan Lapidem, Galya Azkir, XIV"

"Confirmed, access granted." The doors immediately began to slowly lurch open.

30 seconds later...

It's about time you got here, the tetrarch landers are here early, we need to get the 'Lapidem' ready for boarding, that's not even mentioning the others!" Galya exclaimed.

5 hours, 3 seizures and 1 recaf spill on a control panel later...

"It's done! I lost a mechadendrite during the recaf spill, but it's done!" Hope filling Sevonyx at the thought of having 5 minutes to simply breath.

"Run down the list one last time." Galya asked/demanded in the way most nobles do when they actually needed something that money couldn't handle.

Sevonyx sighed, searching through his myriad pockets for the data-slate, "Cerastus Knight Acheron, Archon, being loaded for transport as we speak. Questoris Knight Magaera, Unbreakable Will, accounted for... 15 minutes later... and, finally, Knight Crusader, Thunder Knight, accounted for. Archon has finished being loaded, by the way."

"What about the retinue and honour guard detatchments?"

"Started and finished boarding during the list reading"

"Excellent. You'll have to meet Captain Kostus, by the way."

They were the last to their seats on the lander and, coincidentally, Sevonyx the last seat, next to Captain Kostus, because plot.

"Excellent," Galya began "you can get acquainted on the way."

I am Tech-Priest Sevonyx, Miss Azkir's new Sacristan. You are?" he asked out of courtesy, already knowing the answer.

The Captain looked him over as if measuring him up to something. "Ivan Kostus, Captain of her ladyship's guard on the battlefield, 2nd in command to the militia etc etc and this here's my baby." He said as he began stroking the grenade launcher in his lap. "Despite indications otherwise or whatever anyone has told you," He began "I AM NOT OBSSESSED WITH GRENADES!" he bellowed loud enough to shake the bones of everyone in the compartment. Needless to say their were bandoliers full of melta bombs and krak grenades up to his knees along with the three he was wearing. "I just like to keep a few close for when the krall get uppity. Are you proficient with any weapons, or are you one of those stay in the bunker Tech-Priests?"

"I dabble with an arc-maul, I'm quite deadly at conkers and one of my mechadendrites has a plasme cutter that can be used as a flamer on it somewhere." Sevonyx said with a twinge of pride in his tone, yes, absolutely fucking deadly with conkers.

"Arc mauls and conkers ain't gonna do shit against their thick hides, but they'll really hate the fire if the fuel doesn't freeze before you can use it."

5 hours, 3 pee dreams (Sevonyx 3, David 0) and 1 robe change later...

"Ma'am?!" an alarmed voice came over the vox "Krall are attacking 'the pit', do you want to be dropped off with the Archon and Thunder Knight and stroll back to the mount from there?"

"Why not." A statement more than a question "Sev, stick to Ivan like a leech and you'll be fine. Ivan, get him and the 'Unbreakable Will' to the sanctuary for my return."

1 minute later...

A red light came online and the vox unit followed, "Sir Razikale and Ladies Azkir and Morhaus to stations, Razikale, Azkir and Morhaus to stations...


End file.
